The Ten Worst Fucking Pop Singles Of 2011*

*based on absolutely no criteria whatsoeverOh dear.

Here we go.

I have already sung the praises of all the wonderful things that happened in pop music this year (in my post on the Ten Best Fucking Pop Singles Of 2011), but let’s be honest — when it comes to Top 40 (and wannabe-Top-40, especially), there are a lot more misses than hits.

And when they flop, they flop haaard.

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The Ten Best Fucking Pop Singles Of 2011*

*based on absolutely no criteria whatsoeverThere are a lot of year-end lists claiming that so-and-so songs are the “ten best.” Isn’t that ridiculous? Music is subjective, and who was able to listen to every single song released in 2011 in order to be qualified to decide which are the best?

Clearly none of these lists can ever be “right,” because none of them are 100% identical to the one below.

Here are the actual 10 best fucking pop singles of 2011. Sorry you had to wade through so many other, less valid opinions just to get here!

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I Need A Hero: Is Tom Cruise Still The Best Action Star We’ve Got?

(Movies discussed in this post: Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol, Captain America: The First Avenger, and Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes.)

I had the makings of a fanboy. Things could very well have turned out differently for me, had I continued my worship of Batman and the T-Rex instead of turning my eye on the guys who put them in front of my eyes, Tim Burton and Steven Spielberg.

Instead, I evolved — and soon my “Event Movies” were the ones with names like Aronofsky and Cuaron and Greengrass attached. Names the general public probably isn’t even familiar with. What happened? In theory, I’d like to get into those big-time Event Movies the same way I used to, but lately, so many of them turn out to be a non-event. For every blockbuster, there are ten would-be tentpoles that are a plain ol’ bust.

Is it me, or the movies?

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Trailer Trash: Ridley Scott’s ‘Prometheus’

It’s been a spell since Ridley Scott directed anything to make us really stand up and take notice, but you gotta love the guy. Black Hawk Down, Gladiator, Thelma & Louise… and, of course, Alien.

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Hard In The City’s “Best Of Google” Volume 1

Oh, internet. You never fail to amuse me and creep me the fuck out at the same time.

In addition to all the relevant Google searches that lead people to Hard in the City, I have noticed that some people seem to find themselves here quite by mistake. This is generally because I use the word “fucking” quite liberally, even when I don’t mean it as a verb, including sometimes in titles of my posts. My sincere apologies go out to all the pervs out there who don’t realize that if Britney Spears had a fucking sex tape, you would’ve already fucking seen it already.

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Clockwork Black-And-White: Rihanna // “You Da One” Video

After her very good junkie-themed “We Found Love” video (following a lot of mostly not-so-great videos from Loud), Rihanna’s latest is in black-and-white with some Kubrick iconography. Not too shabby.

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Salander ‘Girl’: Lisbeth Leads A Trio Of High-End Horror Movies

(Films discussed in this post: The Skin I Live In, Contagion, and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.)There are two kinds of filmmakers in this world: those that suck, and those that do not. And when it comes to taking risks, the former group tends to play it safe, while the latter category pushes the envelope.

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Fuck Fuck, Splat Splat: The Best Sex & Violence Of 2011

(Movies discussed in this post: Shame, Hunger, and Drive.)

shame-michael-fassbender-nude-shower-shirtlessIn film criticism, it is trendy to champion the smallest of movies. Micro-budgeted, artsy, foreign language — any or all of these qualities will do. The more bare-bones and stripped down a film is, the better. Basically, the less a movie has going for it to appeal to a mass audience, the more a tried-and-true film critic is going to love.

I’m going to admit something that makes me a bad film critic. (I use the term “critic” loosely, in that “everybody’s a critic” way; never would I imply that I’m a real film critic. Alas, I’m just a guy with great taste.)

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