Hotel (Half) California: ‘Bad Times At The El Royale’

Bad Times At The El Royale is a movie that “goes for it.”

That’s not a surprise, given that it comes from the co-writer/director of The Cabin In The Woods, 2012’s balls-to-the-wall meta horror extravaganza. (For those who haven’t seen it, we’re talking all of the balls, and every wall.) Bad Times At The El Royale has similar ambitions, this time deconstructing a decade rather than the horror genre.

The Five Best Fucking Songs Right Now* (Volume 4)

* based on absolutely no criteria whatsoever

It’s almost summer again (here in Los Angeles, anyway — the rest of you may have another month or two before it’s good and sunny out). And that means it’s time to listen to some good fucking songs. Because the best fucking songs sound the very best when it’s nice out, and you’re laying by the pool or at the beach or driving around in a convertible.

The Five Best Fucking Songs Right Now* (Volume 3)

* based on absolutely no criteria whatsoever

Ahh, summer. There’s no better time to listen to the music — poolside, at a barbecue, driving down the open road on a sunny day… or on your way to work, wishing you were doing those things, cursing your lot in life.

When last we checked in with the Best Fucking Songs, I gave you such sonic treats as Graffiti6, Jake Hart, and The Wanted (hey, they weren’t that popular yet). Now, here are some more.

The Five Best Fucking Songs Right Now* (Volume 2)

* based on absolutely no criteria whatsoever

In the inaugural edition of “The Best Fucking Songs Right Now,” I sung (okay, blogged) the praises of Wolf Gang, Urban Cone, Other Lives, Two Door Cinema Club, and The Sound Of Arrows. Why? Because when it comes to music, I can review pretty much any song in 3-4 words: “I like it” or “I don’t like it.” It’s very hard for me to come up with more to say about a song than that.

So here is a second random collection of songs I like, some of which are already reasonably popular and some of which you have likely not heard.

Sonic treats await below…

The Ten Best Fucking Pop Singles Of 2011*

*based on absolutely no criteria whatsoeverThere are a lot of year-end lists claiming that so-and-so songs are the “ten best.” Isn’t that ridiculous? Music is subjective, and who was able to listen to every single song released in 2011 in order to be qualified to decide which are the best?

Clearly none of these lists can ever be “right,” because none of them are 100% identical to the one below.

Here are the actual 10 best fucking pop singles of 2011. Sorry you had to wade through so many other, less valid opinions just to get here!

Not Tonight, Santa: The 25 Best Fucking Christmas Songs* (Vol. 2)

* based on absolutely no criteria whatsoever

In continuation of yesterday’s list of The 25 Best Fucking Christmas Songs, here are the rest…

Not Tonight, Santa: The 25 Best Fucking Christmas Songs* (Vol. 1)

*based on absolutely no criteria whatsoever.

Ah, December. The one time of year you can listen to the most terrible music on Earth, and no one can judge you for it.

If you’re like me — and let’s face it, you’re probably not, because I am one odd duck — then most holiday music probably makes you want to tear your hair out of your skull, light it on fire, and use it to burn down the nearest shopping mall immediately. (Or something equally destructive.)

In theory, I like Christmas music. It’s catchy, it’s chipper, it spreads good cheer.

In theory.

The Five Best Fucking Songs Right Now* (Volume 1)

* based on absolutely no criteria whatsoever

Late-fall releases in music are a big deal, as the industry gears up for holiday gift-giving — even if there’s nothing more anticlimactic than gifting someone an MP3.

Yes, digital music taken the wind out of the music industry’s sails in a number of ways, but perhaps worst of all is that you can’t really put a bow on a song from iTunes. And fewer and fewer people are buying CDs, since, what’s the point? You just upload it onto your iPod anyway.