“Can you play ‘Jingle Bells’?” (Schroeder plays “Jingle Bells.”) “No, no. I mean ‘Jingle Bells’! Deck them halls and all that stuff?” (Schroeder plays “Jingle Bells.”) “No, no. You don’t get it at all. I mean ‘Jingle Bells’! You know, Santa Claus and ho-ho-ho and mistletoe and presents to pretty girls?” (Schroeder plays “Jingle Bells.”) […]
Read More “Deck Them Halls And All That Stuff” (#31)“Let us all bask in television’s warm, glowing warming glow.”
Read More “No TV And No Beer Make Homer Something Something” (#28)“Now, repeat after me: ‘Yo!’” “Yo!” “Hot damn!” “Hot damn!” “What a fabulous window treatment!” “What a fabulou—” “That was a trick!”
Read More “Smart, Clean, Totally Decent Human Being… Gay!” (#26)“You’re moving with your auntie and your uncle in Bel-Air.”
Read More “How I Became The Prince Of A Town Called Bel Air” (#24)“No weapons… no friends… no hope. Take all that away, and what’s left?” “Me.”
Read More “She Saved The World A Lot” (#12)“Think I’ll go for a walk outside now, The summer sun’s calling my name…”
Read More “Now I’ll Never Be A Teen Model!” (#11)“I didn’t know she had a pony! How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant’s going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York Harbor, I never saw one […]
Read More “Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That” (#4)It’s been nearly a year since Patrick, Dom, and Augustin signed off on us, and now they’re back, taking a relaxing weekend getaway to the woods. But watch out, boys! These woods are full of bears! And no, I do not mean the traditional Goldilocks, Berenstein, Winnie-the-Pooh variety. Portly, hairy gay men are on the […]
Read More Into The Woods: “Looking For The Promised Land”“It’s HBO. Not that many people are gonna see it.”
Read More The Price Of Stardom: ‘The Comeback’ // “Valerie Gets What She Really Wants”“No one? Really? Not ‘no one,’ Mark, because I believed in me. I’m not no one. That’s not nice. Maybe you don’t think I’m someone, but I have a birth certificate that says I am. Maybe you should talk to the Television Academy, ’cause they think I’m someone. Okay? They think I’m someone!”
Read More The Assassination Of Valerie Cherish: ‘The Comeback’ // “Valerie Faces The Critics”We are officially wrapping up the fall TV season now, as most shows have begun or are about to take a hiatus for the holidays, and others are taking a hiatus for… ever. Farewell, A To Z! Good riddance, Selfie! Manhattan Love Story, we hardly knew ye!
Read More ‘Freak’ Of The Weak: Fall TV Roulette (Part Three)“That’s a cautionary tale, huh? That’s what happens, though, you know, when you make show business your whole life, right? You know? Next thing you know, you’re eating kale chips out of a shopping cart.”
Read More Red Is The New Orange: ‘The Comeback’ // “Valerie Cooks In The Desert”
REAL NOBODY 