“Valerie Gets What She Really Wants”

“It’s HBO. Not that many people are gonna see it.”

The Assassination Of Valerie Cherish: ‘The Comeback’ // “Valerie Faces The Critics”

“No one? Really? Not ‘no one,’ Mark, because I believed in me. I’m not no one. That’s not nice. Maybe you don’t think I’m someone, but I have a birth certificate that says I am. Maybe you should talk to the Television Academy, ’cause they think I’m someone. Okay? They think I’m someone!”

Red Is The New Orange: ‘The Comeback’ // “Valerie Cooks In The Desert”

“That’s a cautionary tale, huh? That’s what happens, though, you know, when you make show business your whole life, right? You know? Next thing you know, you’re eating kale chips out of a shopping cart.”

You’re The Monster: ‘The Comeback’ // “Valerie Is Taken Seriously”

“I don’t care if you’re available or unavailable. I don’t care if you just found out that you have have herpes or hepatitis C from one of those whores that you pay to come to your room on show nights. I’ve been in this business a lot longer than you have, and I will be […]

No Good: ‘The Comeback’ // “Valerie Saves The Show”

“I don’t know what kind of candy you’re making, but I’m a coal miner!”

Network Jizz: ‘The Comeback’ // “Valerie Is Brought To Her Knees”

“I got you, Gingersnaps.”

Hogging The Bogart: ‘The Comeback’ // “Valerie Tries To Get Yesterday Back”

“Nice to meet you, Jane Benson, Jewish lesbian with an Oscar!”