Since my live blog of the Golden Globes this year was surprisingly popular (really, I didn’t think anyone would care what I have to say), I am again live-blogging and tweeting up a storm for the Academy Awards this evening.
Should you need them, here are my predicted winners.
Here are my Not-Oscar Awards (AKA, what the nominees should have been).
Here are my Top 10 Movies of 2011.
And here is why I think it’s okay that The Artist will win Best Picture.
Enjoy the show!
The Academy Awards 2012 Live Blog:
4:20 — Jessica Chastain looks so beautiful, it’s inhuman. I’ve never seen her all dolled up before!
4:25 — Emma Stone thinks The Help is a movie “anyone can relate to.” So either someone has made her go to the bathroom outside all her life, or she’s a racist.
4:31 — E! Host to Christopher Plummer: “You’re old. What’s that like?” #ParaphrasingTheOscars
5:02 — Dear Tim Gunn — their “secret” is that they are rich and beautiful. Now please stop asking everyone what their secret is.
5:05 — E! host to Gwyneth Paltrow: “Bitch, you’re not British. I AM.”
5:06 — E! host to Glenn Close: “It’s nice to see you looking marginally less mannish than in Albert Nobbs.”
5:14 — Sandra Bullock is having nothing but “sexy times” tonight.
5:20 — Paraphrasing the Oscars: Natalie Portman to E! host: “Last year, I was really stoned.”
5:22 — Paraphrasing the Oscars: E! host to Tom Hanks: “It’s been a LONG time since you were in anything good.”
5:32 — Cool! They got Christopher Plummer to do the opening sketch! Oh… that’s Billy Crystal.
5:33 — That Justin Bieber thing was funny. Until it wasn’t.
5:35 — If a giant Coke flies by in this opening sketch, I’m turning this off.
5:38 — Billy Crystal just went all Ricky Gervais on Jonah Hill!
5:43 — Cinematography to Hugo. Tree Of Life robbed, and I’m already 0 for 1.
5:44 — Another win for Hugo! Art direction. Much more fitting.
5:51 — Bedbugs joke FTW! Billy Crystal got funnier over the commercial break.
5:52 — Twilight, really? Stop pandering, Academy!
5:55 — Best Costume Design to The Artist! My radar for Hugo‘s win/losses is really off.
5:57 — I’d like to thank The Academy for actually putting together interesting, relevant, and classy clips for the tech categories. Best Makeup to The Iron Lady. Now let’s forget that movie ever happened, okay?
5:59 — Newsflash: movie stars like movies. Barbra Streisand, please stop pretending you’ve seen movies you’re not in.
6:07 — Damn straight it’s A Separation!
6:11 — Best Supporting Actress to Octavia Spencer! Eat shit, losers. Her sincere surprise and gratitude made me feel pretty good about her win.
6:15 — Remember that time James Franco, Anne Hathaway, & The King’s Speech ruined the Oscars? Me either.
6:20 — This Christopher Guest segment is pretty funny. For the Oscars.
6:22 — Tina Fey can do anything. Best Editing to The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo! There’s a real surprise. So glad to see it recognized!
6:25 — Another two for Hugo, Best Sound Editing and Sound Mixing. Jeez, spread the wealth!
6:38 — Okay, I rather enjoyed that Cirque du Soleil thingie.
6:43 — Best Doc to Undefeated. Okay. Wow, they really cut those guys off.
6:48 — Rango for Best Animated Feature. I win! I mean, Rango wins.
6:56 — Visual Effects to Hugo. That thief! (Just like the titular character.) Poor Apes.
6:59 — Did Melissa Leo glue those sequins onto a maid costume from The Help herself? Congratulations to the very deserving Christopher Plummer. Class act all the way.
7:12 — Best Original Score to The Artist! Take that, Hugo. But let’s not forget this guy RAPED poor Kim Novak! First Chris Brown wins a Grammy, now this…
7:18 — One of the easiest calls of the night. Muppets takes Best Song.
7:25 — Hollywood: “Seeing movies sure is magical. Currently in theaters: Gone, Ghost Rider 2, and This Means War.”
7:28 — Screenplay awards to The Descendants and Midnight In Paris. Underwhelming, as expected.
7:37 — CGI has come a long way over the years. Just look at Milla Jovovich!
7:42 — The Bridesmaids make unexciting categories watchable by comparing them to male genitalia. Victors — The Shore, Saving Face, and The Fantastic Flying Books Of Mr. Morris Lessmore. I was 2 for 3 in predictions.
7:47 — It’s not too late for them to decide that Michael Fassbender snub was a mistake after all, right?
7:52 — Best Director is… Michel Hazanvicius! So Hugo isn’t gonna steal after all.
7:56 — Meryl Streep doesn’t need another Oscar. She IS one. Look at that dress!
8:01 — My downfall in Oscar predictions is that I think about them harder than the actual voters do.
8:13 — I don’t mind these little “talking about movies” segments, but I’m glad Billy Crystal made fun of them. WTF is Gabourey Sidibe talking about?
8:14 — Demian Bichir sure is handsome when he’s not dressed as a gardener.
8:15 — George Clooney sure is handsome when he’s not dressed in a Hawaiian shirt.
8:16 — Jean Dujardin sure is handsome without a pencil-thin mustache.
8:17 — Brad Pitt sure was handsome in Fight Club.
8:18 — Hooray for Jean Dujardin! (And not Clooney!) A little dose of French never hurts. Sad that they cut off his tap dance, though.
8:25 — Meryl Streep is kind. Meryl Streep is smart. Meryl Streep is important. And she wins for probably the worst film she’s ever been in.
8:32 — Best Picture, The Artist! Obviously.
*
Everything I had to say about Best Picture I already said in my write-up of the anticipated winner The Artist. As for the telecast, Billy Crystal was hit or miss, but still quite a recovery from last year’s James Franco and Anne Hathaway train wreck.
My favorite thing, though, is the way they respected all of the categories. I hate it when they don’t play clips or try and speed through everything. This year, they did a terrific job of giving you a sense of why each movie was nominated in each category and what the films were about overall. They found a way to make the technical categories at least somewhat informative and interesting to your average Joe.
*
2012 Oscar Winners:
Best Picture
- The Artist
- The Descendants
- Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
- The Help
- Hugo
- Midnight in Paris
- Moneyball
- The Tree of Life
- War Horse
Best Actress in a Leading Role
- Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
- Viola Davis, The Help
- Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
- Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
- Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Best Actor in a Leading Role
- Demian Bichir, A Better Life
- George Clooney, The Descendants
- Jean Dujardin, The Artist
- Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
- Brad Pitt, Moneyball
Best Director
- Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
- Alexdander Payne, The Descendants
- Martin Scorsese, Hugo
- Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
- Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life
Short Film (Animated)
- Dimanche/Sunday, Patrick Doyon
- The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore, William Joyce and Brandon Oldenburg
- La Luna, Enrico Casarosa
- A Morning Stroll, Grant Orchard and Sue Goffe
- Wild Life, Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby
Documentary Short
- The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement, Robin Fryday and Gail Dolgin
- God is the Bigger Elvis, Rebecca Cammisa and Julie Anderson
- Incident in New Baghdad, James Spione
- Saving Face, Daniel Junge and Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy
- The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom, Lucy Walker and Kira Carstensen
Short Film (Live Action)
- Pentecost, Peter McDonald and Eimear O’Kane
- Raju, Max Zähle and Stefan Gieren
- The Shore, Terry George and Oorlagh George
- Time Freak, Andrew Bowler and Gigi Causey
- Tuba Atlantic, Hallvar Witzø
Writing (Original Screenplay)
- The Artist, Written by Michel Hazanavicius
- Bridesmaids, Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig
- Margin Call, Written by J.C. Chandor
- Midnight in Paris, Written by Woody Allen
- A Separation, Written by Asghar Farhadi
Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
- The Descendants, Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash
- Hugo, Screenplay by John Logan
- The Ides of March, Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon
- Moneyball, Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin. Story by Stan Chervin
- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Screenplay by Bridget O’Connor & Peter Straughan
Music (Original Song)
- “Man or Muppet” from The Muppets, Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie
- “Real in Rio” from Rio, Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown, Lyric by Siedah Garrett
Music (Original Score)
- The Adventures of Tintin, John Williams
- The Artist, Ludovic Bource
- Hugo, Howard Shore
- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Alberto Iglesias
- War Horse, John Williams
Best Actor In a Supporting Role
- Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
- Jonah Hill, Moneyball
- Nick Nolte, Warrior
- Christopher Plummer, Beginners
- Max von Sydow, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Visual Effects
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Tim Burke, David Vickery, Greg Butler and John Richardson
- Hugo, Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman and Alex Henning
- Real Steel, Erik Nash, John Rosengrant, Dan Taylor and Swen Gillberg
- Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R. Christopher White and Daniel Barrett
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Dan Glass, Brad Friedman, Douglas Trumbull and Michael Fink
Animated Feature Film
- A Cat in Paris, Alain Gagnol and Jean-Loup Felicioli
- Chico & Rita, Fernando Trueba and Javier Mariscal
- Kung Fu Panda 2, Jennifer Yuh Nelson
- Puss in Boots, Chris Miller
- Rango, Gore Verbinski
Documentary Feature
- Hell and Back Again
- If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front
- Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
- Pina
- Undefeated
Sound Mixing
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Bo Persson
- Hugo, Tom Fleischman and John Midgley
- Moneyball, Deb Adair, Ron Bochar, Dave Giammarco and Ed Novick
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Peter J. Devlin
- War Horse, Gary Rydstrom, Andy Nelson, Tom Johnson and Stuart Wilson
Sound Editing
- Drive, Lon Bender and Victor Ray Ennis
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Ren Klyce
- Hugo, Philip Stockton and Eugene Gearty
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl
- War Horse, Richard Hymns and Gary Rydstrom
Film Editing
- The Artist, Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius
- The Descendants, Kevin Tent
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
- Hugo, Thelma Schoonmaker
- Moneyball, Christopher Tellefsen
Best Actress in a Supporting Role
- Bérénice Bejo, The Artist
- Jessica Chastain, The Help
- Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
- Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
- Octavia Spencer, The Help
Foreign Language Film
- Belgium, “Bullhead”, Michael R. Roskam, director
- Canada, “Monsieur Lazhar”, Philippe Falardeau, director
- Iran, “A Separation”, Asghar Farhadi, director
- Israel, “Footnote”, Joseph Cedar, director
- Poland, “In Darkness”, Agnieszka Holland, director
Makeup
- Albert Nobbs, Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston and Matthew W. Mungle
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight and Lisa Tomblin
- The Iron Lady, Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland
Costume Design
- Anonymous, Lisy Christl
- The Artist, Mark Bridges
- Hugo, Sandy Powell
- Jane Eyre, Michael O’Connor
- W.E., Arianne Phillips
Art Direction
- The Artist: Laurence Bennett (Production Design); Robert Gould (Set Decoration)
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: Stuart Craig (Production Design); Stephenie McMillan (Set Decoration)
- Hugo: Dante Ferretti (Production Design); Francesca Lo Schiavo (Set Decoration)
- War Horse: Rick Carter (Production Design); Lee Sandales (Set Decoration)
Cinematography
- The Artist, Guillaume Schiffman
- The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Jeff Cronenweth
- Hugo, Robert Richardson
- The Tree of Life, Emmanuel Lubezki
- War Horse, Janusz Kaminski
REAL NOBODY 